Stop hating on other momma's choices!

So I had this thought when I was being berated and severely questioned about whether or not I planned to breastfeed my child.

I just want to start off by saying if you're just a co-worker/acquaintance/COMPLETE STRANGER there really isn't any reason for you to know this... Not that I'm not relatively open with my choices, but it just feels like a strange inquiry of something you really don't need to know about my life. Again, I'll probably tell you because that's how I am, but still weird.

Basically this lady at work (I do work with her) asked me if I planned on breastfeeding. I told her I want to, but I'm not against using formula or anything like that I just figure that breastfeeding is free and seems kind of cool and I definitely want to experience it! But if it doesn't work out I won't be upset, my wallet will just be sad for the cost of formula.

Seriously you would've thought I said I was not going to feed my baby anything at all. She started saying how much better breastfeeding is and how I would deprive my child of that if I didn't and I really should for as long as I possibly could because it is SOOOO much better for them and she won't get as sick and have less problems, etc. All because of breastmilk over formula.

It really just kind of pissed me off. And it made me think I know a lot of people (WHO DON'T EVEN HAVE BABIES CURRENTLY OR EVER), mostly women, have super strong opinions about why breastfeeding is so much better and if I don't do it I'm selfish or gave up too easily or whatever.

I just don't believe this at all! Formula wouldn't be an accepted alternative if it was really that detrimental to a baby's development. I don't even feel like I can say breastfeeding is a "better" choice. What if you don't have that choice?!

So I just want to say, STOP hating on women who choose to give their babies formula instead of breastfeeding. You don't know their situation, you don't know why they decided this and really it's none of your business and their child is going to be just fine. It just feels like such a shameful thing that women are hating on other women for! What if a baby is adopted? So therefore that baby is inferior because it never received breastmilk? What if the mom just cannot produce milk for whatever reason? I mean to me it starts to be on the level of well if she can't get pregnant she's not a real woman. NO. Ridiculous! Breastfeeding doesn't seem to come as naturally as people think it does for some women! I mean I haven't tried yet so I can't say for sure, but everyone is still different and I think this would still affect people in different ways.

So can we just stop hating on women for their choices as a mother? I think we all try to do the best we possibly can and we are all always learning. Pregnancy takes a lot out of you so excuse some women if they don't have the energy to fight with breastfeeding. Newborns are kind of demanding.

If you personally don't feel like formula is an acceptable substitute for breastfeeding, THEN DON'T DO IT FOR YOUR CHILD and a different momma make her own choice. CHOICES. It's something we have now and I think it's great! So support your fellow women, mothers, and soon-to-be mommas with the choices that they make and stop the hating on either side!
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10 things you should not say/ask pregnant women

 

My personal list of 10 things you should not ask/say to a pregnant women. Or maybe just me. This mainly applies to strangers or people I don't know that well. If we are friends I will totally answer any and all pregnant questions because I had no idea until I was pregnant either. Although some of these things you shouldn't say to me if we are friends! Mean!!!

 

1. Are you sure it's not twins?! I don't think they missed an entire person in my stomach.
   
   
2. Did you get pregnant on purpose? Ok does it really matter, because it's happening either way. And are you asking about my sex life/birth control habits? Because that's weird.

   

    

    
3. How much weight have you gained? Friends, I don't care because we are friends! But seriously strangers ask me this. Why is that appropriate? I don't say wow you've gotten fat, how much weight have you put on?! My doctor weighs me every time, trust me I'm aware of my weight gain.

   

   
   
4. Are you planning to breast feed? I hate this for two reasons. One, why the hell do you need to know that?! I don't know you! Two, I know you're just judging whatever answer I give you so please back off.

   
5. I hope you're married. This is a loaded statement/question. You're not perfect, don't judge me and I won't judge you. I'm an adult, 24 year old college graduate. Thanks. Seriously a random person said this to me. Goddddd

   

   
   
6. Wow you are not going to make it to November! Yea, thanks.
   

   
7. You're huge already/wow you've gotten big!  Ok just screw you. Seriously not appropriate! I'm still a woman I don't want to hear that. Plus you think I don't know?!?!?
   

   
8. Aren't you uncomfortable? I'M PREGNANT! Of course I am, why are you asking me this?! I mean it'll be worth it in the end, but you don't have to remind me!

   
9. Well you should sleep while you can! Again, I can't freaking sleep now. I have a tiny person moving around inside me at 1am and I get up to pee every two hours AND it's hard to get comfortable with an ever growing stomach. So please just shut up.

   
10. You're about to pop! I hate you and I have two months left. I am 5ft tall! My baby had nowhere to go! Don't say this PLEASE.
    

    

 

Also, keep in mind some women are self conscious when their stomachs stay really small. They don't want to hear they look small for how far along they are either, you'll send them into a panic!!!

 

Basically, if you see a pregnant women, it does not mean are social etiquette is gone and you can say whatever you want to her. She is still a woman! Just go with compliments! You might make their day. 

My favorite pregnant pinterest links

I just thought this might be helpful for preggo mommas out there! These are my favorite links to other blogs and random places with pregnancy articles/lists/info! Enjoy!

10 tips for bottle feeding a breastfed baby

This one is just funny!

10 sucky things about being married to a pregnant lady

Some good tips!

11 pregnancy tips to save money

Her blog is just awesome. This particular post is about how to prevent excess weight gain. But like I said the entire blog is awesome.

How to prevent excess weight gain during pregnancy

20 things about postpartum

How to store breast milk

Need vs. Want for new baby

I like this because it reminds you about your loving partner!!

10 things new moms need to know about new dads'

 This is one of my favorites too! It's funny and wonderful.

100 things about pregnancy, new mom, etc

 OK well I hope those links help out! I have more about new babies that I'll post in another blog. :)

Please judge me.

Ok so I've been thinking about this for awhile and experiencing it more and more at work and public as my belly grows, and I'm sure pregnant women everywhere can relate.

Why does being pregnant mean you can say whatever you want to me? Especially as a stranger? Why do you suddenly have a strong opinion about very personal things in my life? Every single day this happens to me at work. I try really hard to ignore it, but sometimes it is just frustrating beyond belief.

The worst was a few weeks ago at work. This older man came in (first of all he was being annoyingly weird anyways talking to me in Spanish to be funny? I don't know it was odd I just ignore it.) He says to me, "Oh you're expecting a baby." I respond yes I am then he has the audacity to say, "Well I hope you're married, I didn't see a ring on your finger." I was in such shock that a complete stranger would say that to me I just said nope and took him to his table. I'm sorry but EFF YOU. Seriously?! How can you say that to someone you don't even know?!

It really just aggravated me the more I thought about it. Why do you get to judge me for that? You don't know anything about me! Thank god this isn't true, but what if something really bad had happened to me to get me pregnant? You never know! Aside from that, I bet this man would have a much stronger opinion if I had decided to have an abortion! So screw you old man!

My baby has two parents that will love her more than anything in the world and we love each other very much. She has two wonderful families that are supportive me and Ben 100% and already love her so very much. I am 24 years old, I have graduated from college, yes I am struggling a little bit right now, but I have many opportunities available for me. My daughter will always have a father in her life that loves her because I know Ben already loves her.

I'm sorry I am not married. Yes, I did this very much out of order from normal and it has been difficult some times, but I am healthy, my baby is healthy and I'm doing the best that I can. My child is not loved any less by her ENTIRE FAMILY because we are not legally married.

*Sigh* people have no tact.


Anyways, some other rude comments I get frequently:
- You're only having one baby?
- You're due any day now? No? Wow you're going to be huge!
- You're going to breastfeed right? You should

There were more but the one that gets me is people saying you're only 7 months?! Oh my gosh you're going to be huge!!! OK thank you I had no idea my stomach was so large, I really can't help that! I am only 5ft tall people! My torso is tiny! I was a 10lb baby when I was born and Ben is over 6ft tall! I can't help it! All of my weight is in my stomach (well a little bit in my butt and hips, but hey that's normal) and I'm not planning to lose weight right now! Sheesh people! Yes a lot of women look much better than me pregnant but I have no room anywhere else. Baby and I are working with what we got.



So after that, thank you to all the strangers who say really lovely things to me. Telling me I look beautiful pregnant and I'm carrying it well and that I'm glowing and my hair is lovely. I really appreciate it. I will talk to you all day long about my baby!

Ok so this is 8 weeks pregnant. Nothing. Tiny little bloating but nada on the baby bump. But I'm glad I took this pic for comparison!

~14 weeks. My belly starting showing really early on. I wasn't doing anything different, I think I am just small and my torso is short! Sorry baby!

~21 weeks. THAT is a baby. haha!

26 weeks ish at the beach last week! Yep I wore a bikini the whole time. I am not ashamed!

This is today at 27weeks and 3 days. I am not about to pop (hopefully) and stop with the huge comments! I FREAKING KNOW! I'm the one walking around with it all day and can't get comfy! But overall I really love my baby bump, no matter how big it is! I love feeling my baby wiggle all day, except when she gets rough, which she does. And being pregnant is one of the coolest things I've ever experienced in my life. But I will be very happy to have a beer again soon. soon. lol!

First post!

So I decided to start a blog. Because I can. And because I miss writing.

I don't really have anything revolutionizing to write about, but writing is writing for me and I have always loved it. In case you don't know me that well, the title: I love coffee. LOVE IT. I would drink it all day long if I could. Penny is my dog. And she is my baby and she is the coolest dog I've ever met, seriously ask anyone who knows her. She's a little sensitive, very smart, and a great cuddle buddy. I'm obsessed, I don't care. Babies? Well I'm pregnant! For the first time! I'm 23 and it's so very exciting and scary all at once! The daddy and I have been dating for 9 months and yes it was an accident, but I'm 23 I know how this works so can I even really say that? Oh well. My baby is NOT nor will he/she ever be or think it was a mistake. Not possible. I've wanted to be a mommy more than ever since I lost my mom when I was 13 and I missed the mother relationship in my life. At least I can be on the other end of that right?

Anyways, my life has been a 360 from last year. It's even really hard and really amazing  and incredibly eye opening.

In 2012 I got married to a boy I dated of 4 years. 3 days before our 1 year anniversary our divorce was finalized. I miss having him as a friend, hell I knew him for five years, but I don't miss our marriage or dating life. It didn't work. I miss my friends I had when we were together and I miss some of his family. I was close to them and they didn't understand what happened and I found it too hard to talk to them so all their info came from him and they hate me now. It's ok because it would just be awkward for all of us! And he's happy now, I'm happy now, I don't think either of us regrets anything that happened because then we wouldn't be where we are! Yes it's embarrassing to be divorced at 23, but it happens, you learn, you move on!

Basically now almost a year later I'm doing amazing! Ben, my sweet boyfriend, is the most amazing guy I've ever met. He gets along with my family, loves all my friends, and has always accepted my past and who I am. We have our problems and pregnancy has been a change on our relationship, but we love each other and want to work out anything that comes at us!

So I'll probably talk about babies and pregnancy a lot. But I can't help it! It's exciting! It's a lot of info and it's something I've been blessed with and I love it!

Something I find cool, Ben and I both get to make our older brothers who already have kids uncles for the first time! I was excited to be an aunt to my beautiful niece Emma so I hope they are just as excited.

This is a lot do random info, but my mind is random so try to follow. I already have 3 baby registries. I'm 14 weeks pregnant. Does that make me crazy? It's just kind of fun. Target is my main registry and it's pretty awesome if I do say so myself.

So that's probably enough rambling for today. Enjoy!

Pregnancy tests!!!!

Pic from the beach on Labor Day in Seaside, FL!

Pregnancy announcement!

12 weeks!!!