Stop hating on other momma's choices!

So I had this thought when I was being berated and severely questioned about whether or not I planned to breastfeed my child.

I just want to start off by saying if you're just a co-worker/acquaintance/COMPLETE STRANGER there really isn't any reason for you to know this... Not that I'm not relatively open with my choices, but it just feels like a strange inquiry of something you really don't need to know about my life. Again, I'll probably tell you because that's how I am, but still weird.

Basically this lady at work (I do work with her) asked me if I planned on breastfeeding. I told her I want to, but I'm not against using formula or anything like that I just figure that breastfeeding is free and seems kind of cool and I definitely want to experience it! But if it doesn't work out I won't be upset, my wallet will just be sad for the cost of formula.

Seriously you would've thought I said I was not going to feed my baby anything at all. She started saying how much better breastfeeding is and how I would deprive my child of that if I didn't and I really should for as long as I possibly could because it is SOOOO much better for them and she won't get as sick and have less problems, etc. All because of breastmilk over formula.

It really just kind of pissed me off. And it made me think I know a lot of people (WHO DON'T EVEN HAVE BABIES CURRENTLY OR EVER), mostly women, have super strong opinions about why breastfeeding is so much better and if I don't do it I'm selfish or gave up too easily or whatever.

I just don't believe this at all! Formula wouldn't be an accepted alternative if it was really that detrimental to a baby's development. I don't even feel like I can say breastfeeding is a "better" choice. What if you don't have that choice?!

So I just want to say, STOP hating on women who choose to give their babies formula instead of breastfeeding. You don't know their situation, you don't know why they decided this and really it's none of your business and their child is going to be just fine. It just feels like such a shameful thing that women are hating on other women for! What if a baby is adopted? So therefore that baby is inferior because it never received breastmilk? What if the mom just cannot produce milk for whatever reason? I mean to me it starts to be on the level of well if she can't get pregnant she's not a real woman. NO. Ridiculous! Breastfeeding doesn't seem to come as naturally as people think it does for some women! I mean I haven't tried yet so I can't say for sure, but everyone is still different and I think this would still affect people in different ways.

So can we just stop hating on women for their choices as a mother? I think we all try to do the best we possibly can and we are all always learning. Pregnancy takes a lot out of you so excuse some women if they don't have the energy to fight with breastfeeding. Newborns are kind of demanding.

If you personally don't feel like formula is an acceptable substitute for breastfeeding, THEN DON'T DO IT FOR YOUR CHILD and a different momma make her own choice. CHOICES. It's something we have now and I think it's great! So support your fellow women, mothers, and soon-to-be mommas with the choices that they make and stop the hating on either side!
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10 things you should not say/ask pregnant women

 

My personal list of 10 things you should not ask/say to a pregnant women. Or maybe just me. This mainly applies to strangers or people I don't know that well. If we are friends I will totally answer any and all pregnant questions because I had no idea until I was pregnant either. Although some of these things you shouldn't say to me if we are friends! Mean!!!

 

1. Are you sure it's not twins?! I don't think they missed an entire person in my stomach.
   
   
2. Did you get pregnant on purpose? Ok does it really matter, because it's happening either way. And are you asking about my sex life/birth control habits? Because that's weird.

   

    

    
3. How much weight have you gained? Friends, I don't care because we are friends! But seriously strangers ask me this. Why is that appropriate? I don't say wow you've gotten fat, how much weight have you put on?! My doctor weighs me every time, trust me I'm aware of my weight gain.

   

   
   
4. Are you planning to breast feed? I hate this for two reasons. One, why the hell do you need to know that?! I don't know you! Two, I know you're just judging whatever answer I give you so please back off.

   
5. I hope you're married. This is a loaded statement/question. You're not perfect, don't judge me and I won't judge you. I'm an adult, 24 year old college graduate. Thanks. Seriously a random person said this to me. Goddddd

   

   
   
6. Wow you are not going to make it to November! Yea, thanks.
   

   
7. You're huge already/wow you've gotten big!  Ok just screw you. Seriously not appropriate! I'm still a woman I don't want to hear that. Plus you think I don't know?!?!?
   

   
8. Aren't you uncomfortable? I'M PREGNANT! Of course I am, why are you asking me this?! I mean it'll be worth it in the end, but you don't have to remind me!

   
9. Well you should sleep while you can! Again, I can't freaking sleep now. I have a tiny person moving around inside me at 1am and I get up to pee every two hours AND it's hard to get comfortable with an ever growing stomach. So please just shut up.

   
10. You're about to pop! I hate you and I have two months left. I am 5ft tall! My baby had nowhere to go! Don't say this PLEASE.
    

    

 

Also, keep in mind some women are self conscious when their stomachs stay really small. They don't want to hear they look small for how far along they are either, you'll send them into a panic!!!

 

Basically, if you see a pregnant women, it does not mean are social etiquette is gone and you can say whatever you want to her. She is still a woman! Just go with compliments! You might make their day.